All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
