please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
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