the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
