I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
