Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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