Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
