In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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