She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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