Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
