Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
