i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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