i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize