And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
