We're like a lot better than the average bears
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
