I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You took a bar mat shot.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
