sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
pop tarts are not kleenex
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
