dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
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I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
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THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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