wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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