Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
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i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
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Except there is my pee all over the walls now
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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