THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
