Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
