YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
