Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i would punch a child for taco bell
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Did I show you my penis last night?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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