he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize