you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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