i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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