Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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