so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
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Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
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There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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