you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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