i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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