dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Randomize
