i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
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I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
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If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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