guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
