is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So squirting runs in the family.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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