i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
