They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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