He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
