1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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