Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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