Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
