In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I need to stop coming to work sober
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
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