eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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