I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize