And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
