I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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