Pants 0. Shit 1.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
