ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
