I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Ladies don't puke and tell
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize