Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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