Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
