So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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