Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Enjoy the penises
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
