Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
